Some Of The Best Things Anybody's Ever Said
- Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven.
- One half of the world cannot understand the pleasures of the other.
- When a man goes on a date, he wonders if he is going to get lucky. A woman already knows.
- No good movie is too long and no bad movie is short enough.
- On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite all the time.
- Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone.
John Maynard Keynes
- The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look respectable.
John Kenneth Galbraith
- Even if you are on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
- We are all born naked and screaming and if you're lucky that sort of thing won't stop there.
- The best measure of a man's honesty isn't his income tax return. It's the zero adjust on his bathroom scale.
Arthur C. Clarke
- You never really learn how to write a book, because every one is different.
- You think, all these hundreds of thousands of parts were put together by the lowest bidder.
Wally Schirra, when asked by Walter Cronkite what he was thinking as he sat atop the 95-foot-high Atlas rocket on the Cape Canaveral launching pad
- The one function that TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.
- We should all celebrate [Easter] with some kind of all-brain feast. It's what Zombie Jesus would do.
- Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.
- Getting fired in the music business is fascinating because up until the moment you're being escorted out of the building you're pretty sure you're getting a promotion.
- Sometimes you get your best light from a burning bridge.
- Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else.
James M. Barrie
- When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Henry J. Kaiser
- In the business of racing, the only way to become a millionaire is to start out as a multi-millionaire.
- The most dangerous strategy is to jump a chasm in two leaps.
- The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep.
- My fan mail is enormous. Everyone is under 6.
- He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.
- Politics is just show business for ugly people.
- The secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
Alice Roosevelt Longworth
- If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
- A chrysanthemum by any other name would be much easier to spell.
- Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product.
- If I begin to procrastinate today instead of tomorrow, would that be considered self-improvement?
- Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't.
- They say dollar bills carry germs on them. Even a germ couldn't live on a dollar these days.
- I'm Not Lying, I'm Telling a Future Truth. Really.
NY Times article headline 05.06.08
- The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.
- The secret of being boring is to say everything.
- In a museum in Havana there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus -- 'one when he was a boy and one when he was a man.'
- To get something done, a committee should consist of no more than three men, two of whom are absent.
- Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
- If you rest, you rust.
- Some people think they are worth a lot of money just because they have it.
- If you really believe that death brings eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seat belt?
- Anyone who isn't confused really doesn't understand the situation.
Edward R. Murrow
- My friend Steve is an atheist. He has a bumper sticker that says, "Honk if you love Jesus". When someone honks he gives them the finger.
- A happy childhood...is the worst possible preparation for life.
- People never lie so much as before an election, during a war, or after a hunt.
Otto von Bismarck
- The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?
- I have never been lost, but I will admit to being confused for several weeks.
- It may be true that you can't fool all the people all the time, but you can fool enough of them to rule a large country.
- We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.