Some Of The Best Things Anybody Ever Said

Page 11.

  1. We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.

    M. Facklam

  2. The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.


  3. Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.

    Dave Barry

  4. I wonder what goes through his mind when he sees us peeing in his water bowl.

    Penny Ward Moser

  5. If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.

    Will Rogers

  6. I got the bill for my surgery. Now I know what those doctors were wearing masks for.

    James H. Boren

  7. My formula for success is rise early, work late, and strike oil.

    Paul Getty

  8. Either that wallpaper goes, or I do.

    Oscar Wilde's last words (1854-1900)

  9. I am about to, or, I am going to die. Either expression is used.

    Last words of grammarian Dominique Bouhours

  10. Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts.

    Albert Einstein

  11. We do not see things as they are, but as we are ourselves.

    Henry Major Tomlinson

  12. Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.

    Dr. Seuss

  13. Before we set our hearts too much upon anything, let us examine how happy they are who already possess it.

    François de La Rochefoucauld

  14. The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.

    Clarence Darrow

  15. I can't hear the phrase "War is good for the economy" without also wondering whether cannibalism is good nutrition?


  16. I am an agnostic; I do not pretend to know what many ignorant men are sure of.

    Clarence Darrow

  17. When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.

    Hermann Hesse

  18. The similarities between me and my father are different.

    Dale Berra, Yogi Berra's son

  19. When I do good, I feel good; when I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.

    Abraham Lincoln

  20. If we knew what we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

    Albert Einstein

  21. One reason why I don't drink is because I wish to know when I am having a good time.

    Nancy Astor

  22. Some men see things as they are and ask why. Others dream things that never were and ask why not.

    George Bernard Shaw

  23. The greatest danger for artists is total freedom.

    Federico Fellini

  24. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.


  25. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.


  26. To swear off making mistakes is very easy. All you have to do is swear off having ideas.

    Leo Burnett

  27. Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.

    John F. Kennedy

  28. I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

    Galileo Galilei

  29. What ought to be done to the man who invented the celebrating of anniversaries? Mere killing would be too light.

    Mark Twain

  30. What progress we are making. In the Middle Ages they would have burned me. Now they are content with burning my books.

    Sigmund Freud

  31. It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.

    Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

  32. Sacred cows make the best hamburger.

    Mark Twain

  33. First, they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.

    Mahatma Gandhi

  34. A mind, once expanded by a new idea, never returns to its original dimensions.

    Oliver Wendell Holmes

  35. Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber.


  36. My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. For ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father.

    Wendy Leibman

  37. I want my attorney, my tailor, my servants, even my wife to believe in God, and I think I shall then be robbed and cuckolded less often.


  38. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.

    Gracie Allen

  39. Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?

    Abraham Lincoln

  40. Things may come to those who wait. But only the things left by those who hustle.

    Abraham Lincoln

  41. You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

    Abraham Lincoln

  42. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

    Herm Albright

  43. America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.

    Abraham Lincoln

  44. It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

    Abraham Lincoln

  45. Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels.

    Mark Twain

  46. One of the striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has only nine lives.

    Mark Twain

  47. Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it.

    Mark Twain

  48. You can't break a bad habit by throwing it out the window. You've got to walk it slowly down the stairs.

    Mark Twain

  49. Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

    Woody Allen

  50. A man's home may seem to be his castle on the outside; inside, it's often his nursery.

    Clare Booth Luce